


Winter

by lovelyisthenight (sparkle_1)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10056875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkle_1/pseuds/lovelyisthenight
Summary: “I…”He what?He doesn't like snow?No, he can't say that to Yuuri. He wouldn't understand.Tell him something else.





	

It snowed last night.

Fresh, white cleanness coats every tree, and sidewalk, and rooftop. In these early hours of morning, when the sun has yet to rise, and the world is flooded in eerie gray, the snow makes everything look fake, somehow. Like it's some fantasy world where everything is spotless and pure.

It unsettles Victor.

He's never really liked the snow. Of course, having lived in Russia his entire life, he's been forced to have some semblance of appreciation for how beautiful it looks, and how it can be fun to play in. But he's never really _liked_ it.

It's too clean, for one. It makes you think everything is good and right in the world, just because you can't see the bad underneath the endless white. It lulls you into a false sense of security, and when it inevitably melts, you're disappointed with the hard, cold reality that everything is _not_ perfect.

A few snowflakes begin to fall from the sky and Victor turns his back to the window, eyes cast to the carpet. He can't look down at the sugar-coated city any longer.

Snow is so easy to ruin, too. Put a foot on it, and it's no longer flawless and amazing. It's just… white, with a bunch of ugly smudges tainting it. That thought makes Victor feel sick.

“What are you doing, baby?”

Yuuri.

Victor slowly lifts his head.

Yuuri’s sitting halfway up in their bed, one arm propped behind him, the other raised to scrub at sleepy eyes. His hair is all mussed up, sticking in every direction, and Victor's shirt is just too big for him, exposing a glimpse of collarbone.

He's painfully beautiful. Victor's heart hurts to look at him.

“Victor? What's wrong?”

Victor finally meets his eyes. He knows the smile he puts on isn't very convincing, but he has to try.

“Nothing,” he says.

Yuuri stares at him. He sighs.

“Come back to bed?”

Victor only hesitates a moment before walking over and joining Yuuri under the covers. He gingerly rests his head on Yuuri's chest, his eyes falling shut when warm arms wrap around him. As he settles, Yuuri's fingers begin to trace mindless shapes onto his skin, little circles, and hearts, and words he can't decipher.

“Please, tell me what's wrong,” Yuuri whispers softly.

Victor wraps his arms tighter around Yuuri's shoulders and buries his face in his neck. Yuuri waits.

“I…”

He what?

He doesn't like snow?

No, he can't say that to Yuuri. He wouldn't understand.

Tell him something else.

“I just… couldn't sleep.”

Yuuri's silence is skeptical. His fingers fall still before sliding up to comb through Victor's hair. Soft lips press a kiss to his temple.

“You don't have to lie to me, baby.”

He squeezes his eyelids tightly shut, feeling the telltale burning behind his eyes and trying desperately to stave off tears.

“I need to know how to help you.”

Yuuri's hands are massaging his scalp now. Victor is restless. He shifts his legs over Yuuri’s, scrambles to grab at the shoulders under him.

“Shh, it's okay,” Yuuri soothes. “Just breathe, baby, okay?”

Victor sucks in a breath, holding it for a few seconds, and releases it shakily.

He focuses on Yuuri's hands in his hair, stroking, and pulling, and twisting in it. It's so calming, and soothing…

As Victor's breathing evens and the urge to fidget lessens, Yuuri presses one, two, three kisses to the side of his head.

“Tell me.”

Victor tightens his hold.

“It's the snow,” he whines helplessly.

Yuuri's hands pause momentarily, before picking right back up again.

“What about the snow?”

“It… it lies. About everything.”

“I don't understand.”

“All the… the white, and the clean, it's not real!” Victor desperately tries to explain. “Everything looks perfect, but it's not. It's not… perfect, or good, or clean, or anything! It's all a lie.”

Yuuri's hands still for good, this time. They trail down Victor's face, cupping his chin and tilting his face up to look at him.

Yuuri's eyes are big, and sad.

“Oh, Victor…”

A tear escapes and falls across Victor's cheek, and a warm thumb strokes it away.

“And you - you can't help,” Victor chokes. “I know you want to, I know you want to make it better, but you can't.”

Yuuri gently places Victor's head back down onto his chest, wrapping his arms firmly around Victor's shoulders.

“I know,” he whispers. “But I can hold you, for now.”

Victor nods, pressing himself as close to Yuuri as he can.

Yuuri can hold him. He can stroke his hair, and whisper sweet things into his ear, and just _be there._

It doesn't make everything better right away.

But… it helps.

It helps.


End file.
